Give or the take rose petals and champagne; self-compassion is a must for a satisfying intimate experience.

From the thoughts you think in front of the mirror to the fun you have in bed, self-love plays an important role in helping you have a healthy sex life. A 2011 study revealed a positive relationship between having empathy, confidence, and autonomy and experiencing high levels of sexual pleasure for thousands of young men and women surveyed.

A strong sense of empathy for others and autonomy in oneself makes people more likely to experience sexual pleasure when giving and receiving in the bedroom. But wait, it gets better. The presence of these character traits also predicted a heightened awareness of the needs of others and responsiveness to meet those needs.

It’s ladies night.

For women in particular, body image and confidence play powerful roles in sexual pleasure. When women have a high level of self-compassion — this means embracing their soft dimpled curves or long lanky limbs and everything in between — they’re less likely to experience eating guilt, body shame, weight issues, and sexual insecurity.

Sure there are other factors involved in making a night fun and frisky for everyone, but how you feel about yourself going into it is way more intrinsic than rom-coms would have you believe. You can have a toe-curling good time with your lover (or by yourself), and it all starts with communicating, listening, and believing that you’re worthy of having your world rocked.

Feelin’ myself.

For all the single ladies out there, the uncertain frequency of a sexual encounter paired with the nagging societal side-eye for not being coupled can make sex all the more complicated. Here’s where self-confidence and self-love are crucial, because sometimes you just gotta DIY.

Being able to take care of yourself isn’t just about a late-night trip to Babeland and a mood-setting playlist, though those are helpful. It means really taking care of you, showing your body love, and accepting yourself for the whole human you are.

It’s not easy to be vulnerable with your body. It takes bravery to accept yourself and assume that whoever’s lucky enough to get intimate with you accepts you, too. But when this happens, when you engage your mind, heart, and body, you enable yourself to give and receive pleasure, ask for what you want, and to ultimately get what you need.

Let us know how you’re practicing self-love in the comments below!


Georgopulos, Stephanie. “I Saw Sparks: Falling Out Of Love With Falling In Love.” Brooklyn Magazine, July 2016. Web. July 2016.

Johns Hopkins University Bloomberg School of Public Health. “Study links empathy, self-esteem, and autonomy with increased sexual enjoyment.” ScienceDaily, June 2011. Web. June 2016.

Pujols, Y., Meston, et al. “The Association Between Sexual Satisfaction and Body Image in Women.” Journal of Sexual Medicine, 7(2), Feb. 2010, 905–916. Wiley Online Library. Web. June 2016.

TEDx Talks. “The Space Between Self-Esteem and Self Compassion: Kristin Neff at TEDxCentennialParkWomen.” YouTube, Feb. 2013. Web. June 2016.

Wasylkiw, Louise, et al. “Exploring the link between self-compassion and body image in university women.” Body Image, 9(2), Mar. 2012, 236–245. Science Direct. Web. 29 June 2016.

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