The last step in being more vulnerable is brought to you by the letter B — it’s all about boundaries and break-ups.
Move from shame into strength
You’re ready. You got this.
Like exercising new muscles, boundary setting starts off shaky, then strengthens. It’s wobbly at first and you feel like you’ll fall — think Bambi trying to skate on an icy pond.
Boundaries are like the fire in your thighs doing yoga after a long hiatus (Hello, Warrior III).
They’re the prick in your heart when asking for what you need out of a relationship.
They give you the courage it takes to say NO, the bravery it takes to say YES.
They’re turning off Netflix and opening up a good book, scheduling a date with your partner, going on an adventure with your kids, stopping everything for a dance break to your favorite song.
Boundaries are physical therapy for your soul
Setting boundaries = believing you are worthy of love, that you deserve respect.
The more and better you learn to define your own boundaries, the better you become at respecting the boundaries of people in your life. They become familiar signposts you’ll see in others — that “Ah-ha!” moment of boundary recognition, or the big bad “UH-OH” moment of boundary absence.
Setting boundaries means valuing your feelings, your time, your own sense of comfort and asking that others value them, too.
So often, we (especially women) are trained to be emotional martyrs — to comfort, nurture, and accommodate the emotions of those around us at the expense of our own well-being, i.e. that first date you’re just not into but you stay because you don’t want to make things awkward, that degrading conversation with a family member that you endure, that inappropriate encounter with your boss that you tell no one about.
Boundaries are the emotional line in the sand where you get to say what happens to you and what doesn’t. They create safe space where you can celebrate what it means to be your rawest, most vulnerable self.
Vulnerability + Boundaries = Your Splendid Self
We finally made it to the best part. Guess you could call it “Part V,” the moment where you take the reins and put these tools to use in your own life.
Remember, it takes practice showing up with openness and courage every day, embracing all of your imperfections and celebrating your immense worth. Come back to these tips whenever you need a refresher, and let us know how you implement them into your daily life!
We’ll be over here doing a whole lotta this:
Can We Gain Strength From Shame? National Public Radio.
Daring to be Vulnerable with Brené Brown. The University of Minnesota.
Jennifer Kass, How to Set Healthy Boundaries in Every Relationship. Greatist.
Margarita Tartakovsky, 10 Way to Build and Preserve Better Boundaries. Psych Central.
Setting Boundaries with Difficult People. Indiana University-Purdue University Fort Wayne.
Tiffany Crawford, Are Vulnerability and Authenticity the New Cool? The Huffington Post.